We fit a lifetime of experiences into 2019. One of the most profound was a plant medicine ceremony. I learned many things in this experience. The things I learned felt more like a remembering than learning though. Like my soul was reminding the character I play in this life - Barron - of the source wisdom we all carry.

Going into the journey, I did everything I could to quell fear in myself, channeling a humble confidence. My mantra was “Please show me what I need to see, be gentle though because I know you’re strong.” One of the things I did fear was being reprimanded for just being human. In our current state, we do not treat nature with the reverence she deserves. One of the first realizations I had is that the spirit of nature and I are on the same team. This understanding took a lot of weight off of me.

As my consciousness moved into the medicine space, I felt a warm vibrating sensation. When I closed my eyes and relaxed I saw some visuals, but not necessarily visions yet. Over time I relaxed into the space and found a meditative breath pattern. As I calmed down and found my breath, the visions began. This was all a sort of introduction to the plant spirit. The interaction felt like a dance. If I proposed a question, we meandered to a visionary answer. If I inquired too directly or inspired by fear, the visions would slip. When I relaxed back into my breath vision would come back to my mind’s eye. This is when I realized the third eye is that of the mind. These visions and experiences are perceived via the eye of the mind.

In this space I was speaking to Barron from the perspective of my higher self. I’ve had a similar experience before and it scared me. At that time my body was in danger, in my head I was saying “come on B, come back to reality.” I thought to myself, “If I’m talking to Barron then who am I?!”

This time though, my body was in a safe place. Allowing my my spirit the freedom to journey while my physical self rested.

I use the term “higher self” because I don’t know how else to articulate the feeling. It was like I was speaking to Barron - the character I’m playing in this life - from a perspective of abundant wisdom. Channeling the spirits of my ancestors, both living and dead. Feeling a root knowing and peace from the tree of natural spirits which preceded my life.

From my higher self, I spoke to Barron in a similar voice to that which I speak to Kamp (our dog):

“It’s all good bubba”

“Relax”

“We got this”

I was reminded that us life-forms are in this together, it’s not all on me. The team of life is strong. I felt such peace and gratitude in that space, all I could do is weep. My eyes were pouring tears and it felt great. It was a happy cry, a sobbing giggle. I found it fascinating that pure peace, joy, bliss and sadness excite a similar feeling and purge tears. I felt grateful to the effort I’ve put into my life and for the effort of all life to allow this experience. I stayed in this place of peaceful gratitude for quite a while, releasing pinned energy via tears.

With my freshly remembered confidence and strength I was ready to look into some of the aspects of life I struggle with. Corruption was at the top of the list. Where does corruption come from? Greed? Hate? Suffering? Why does money have such a grip on humans? I felt deep pity as I peered into the darkness. My instinct often wants to fight corruption head on. I realized a fight will not cure the disease, only spread it. I need to understand the root of corruption, not battle the symptoms.

Fear seems to be the root of corruption. Why do we fear? Fear serves a useful function, to protect the unity of mind, body and spirit. Fear keeps us alive, keeps us from doing things that may kill us. But when fear is in control, we fight to protect our ego over all else.

This new understanding of fear brought me to a simple, yet profound metaphor. “Snakes are scary because they’re scared.” The snake is a fragile creature, in deep harmony with the rhythm of nature. Gaining the majority of its energy from the sun, only preying on the meek and fearful. Many humans have a deep seeded fear of snakes. Nothing brings me into the moment quite like a viper reared up tall off the ground, rattle piercing the air. This scary display is all to protect the rattle snake’s fragile existence. A similar display can be seen in people. Those that are the most fearful, insecure and scared elicit those feelings in others, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. When I see this corruption for what it is, I pity rather than fight it. When I look into the dark without fear, the truth brings clarity.

This journey filled me with love for all life. I am peaceful, though I see corruption clearly in darkness without fear. Toward the end of the ceremony, as the rhythm of the didge and hand drum vibrated the air, some words came to me in perfect rhythm with the music:

“We are medicine people,

we all are medicine people,

we share the light of life,

we are the light of life.”

Another example of simple language having profound meaning to me. We are the medicine. Our actions, interactions, thoughts and intentions can heal. One of the fundamental purposes of being alive is to help living beings thrive. To be the medicine for others and ourselves.

These are just a few of the things I remembered in this experience. I know these topics and thoughts are esoteric and could be thought of as woo woo, but these downloads were profound to me. I hope sharing this experience brings you some peace. Remember that we’re all in this together. Whenever we feel alone, we have all life’s spirits standing with us.